Here are highlights, no it wasn't on a a hooter flight
A Florida man faces a $5,000 fine after he allegedly masturbated on a United Airlines flight (of course he is from Florida)
"I heard a noise and looked over and saw his penis," the 18-year-old woman told investigators, according to the criminal complaint. "He ejaculated and got some on the seat. Then he went to the bathroom for a long time." (ahhhhhhhhhhhhahahahahah. What a stud, he finished)
My friend Zach turned to me and said, 'That man is masturbating' and in disbelief, I looked and saw his penis," Grayson Miller told authorities. "I hit him with a book in the arm, which caused him to stop and leave to the bathroom. After a while he returned." (Listen up Grayson, you do not touch another man while he is jerking it, whether that is cause it is wildly inappropriate to do on a plane or if you just need to tell your buddy to flip to the AFC game)
-Les Anderson
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